Be Your Own Valentine

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, a day that is enjoyed by some and dreaded by others. Regardless of whether you enjoyed a romantic day with your partner, were disappointed when your fantasies of what your partner might say, do, or give to you to celebrate didn’t materialize, or wished you had a partner with whom you could share the day, I’d like to encourage you to be your own valentine, not just on Valentine’s Day but every day of your life.

Healthy self-love makes healthy relationships with others possible. I am increasingly convinced that we cannot truly love others without first loving ourselves. When we don’t love ourselves, we seek others to meet our needs in destructive ways. We either find needy people to rescue and take care of, so we can feel worthwhile and deserving of their love, or we allow ourselves to be physically or verbally abused because deep down we believe we deserve it, or we find people willing to rescue and take care of us, heroes we can put on a pedestal and praise as saints, but not allow to be fully human, with needs of their own.

Loving yourself is not selfish; in fact, it’s the best way to improve your relationships with everyone else.

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