Wanted: a spam filter for my brain

I was getting so fed up with all of the spam comments on this blog that I stopped writing new posts and didn’t even visit my own site for a few weeks. Thankfully, I have now found a spam filter that seems to be keeping all of those useless posts away, so I’m back to blogging now.

That experience got me to thinking about how nice it would be if my brain had a spam filter, too. You see, I’ve become increasingly aware that I have a barrage of unwanted thoughts that could be considered spam. Some of them are just annoying distractions, like when I can’t get a certain song out of my head, or when I’m trying to pray and instead find myself thinking about my grocery list.

The spam I’d really like to get rid of, though, is more harmful than that. It consists of negative messages that I’ve internalized over the years, messages like “You’re not good enough,” “You don’t deserve to be loved,” and “You’ll never get it right.” With the help of women like Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers (co-founders of Inner Mean Girl Reform School and authors of excellent books on this topic; see the “knowing and loving yourself” section on the “resources” page of this website for details, http://www.betruetoyourself.com/resources/), I’m learning to recognize those destructive messages as lies, and replace them with truths that I know at a deeper level.

I would bet that you have an inner critic that fills your brain with similar lies. If you have discovered ways to counter those lies and have learned to not just accept but truly love yourself just as you are, please share what works for you in the comments below. If you still believe that those lies accurately reflect the truth about you, please share that, too, and know that you are not alone and there are many different online communities, books, group and individual coaching programs, and other sources of support which you will be led to when you are ready to begin embracing the reality that you are a precious treasure, a beautiful creation of God worthy of love and respect.

9 Responses to “Wanted: a spam filter for my brain”

  1. Pat Says:

    For years, my life was ringed around with shame from messages constantly delivered by people who were supposed to love me.. I was never good enough. What would the neighbour’s think? How would I maintain my reputation given my bad behaviour?

    At lunch a couple of day’s ago, a coworker asked when we had last felt embarrassed. I can happily say that I cannot remember the last time, but I certainly remember a period in my life where that is all that I felt.

    What changed for me was figuring out that I wasn’t constantly being judged by those around me. I was able to start being free in who I really am, once I figured it out of course!

  2. Angie T Says:

    I Love it and so proud of you. Keep on Keepin on Sister Love!

  3. Wendi Says:

    Thanks Angie! I plan to keep on…there are a lot more wonderful women out there who need to rediscover who and Whose they are and know that they are loved.

  4. Wendi Says:

    Thanks for sharing that, Pat. It has also helped me to realize that my fears of others judging me are largely unfounded. In most cases other people aren’t thinking about me at all, and when I am judged harshly by others it almost always has more to do with their own issues than with anything I have actually said or done. I’m still working on getting my own internal judge to be less harsh, though!

  5. Kimberly Says:

    I LOVE the idea of a spam filter for our brains! Well said and glad to meet you through Team Love!

  6. Christine Arylo Says:

    LOVE the SPAM FILTER take on the Inner Mean Girl — and LOVE having you as a love ambassador Pat!!

  7. Christine Arylo Says:

    My Inner Mean Girl said Pat instead of Wendi – filter filter !! xoxoxo

  8. Wendi Says:

    Thanks Christine! Be sure to let me know if you come to Hawaii. I’d love to help in any way that I can if you do an event here!

  9. Wendi Says:

    Thanks Kimberly, and I’m glad to meet you too!

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